p.s. I Love You

I may be funny to my friends but my family just thinks I'm strange.

Name:
Location: French Guiana

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Post Highlights

I had some minor outpatient surgery in (let's just call it) a delicate area last Thursday. It seemed like a good time to have it done. Big Princess was home on Spring Break and could take me and then take care of me. I was off work the next day for Good Friday, so it would basically give me almost four days of recovery time.

It kicked my ass.

Pre-surgery went fine with only a minor hiccup with the insertion of the IV. (I currently have a bruise that looks like Mike Tyson punched me with an IV needle.) Big Princess blew up a latex glove and we played beach ball until we got to giggling too loudly and got busted by the doctor. Then they gave me a happy shot and wheeled me away.

I should have had an inkling of things to come when the doctor gave me 2 IV injections of morphine and sent me home with prescriptions for vicodin and muscle relaxers. Big Princess settled me on the sofa and went to meet my drug dealer, I mean fill my prescriptions. She came home and doled out my drugs. Then, according to her, she asked if she could have some of my tea*... to which I slurred, "NO! Drink my liquor. I can get more liquor."

The rest of the day was spent sleeping and taking pills. Little princess said that one time I held my hand toward the TV and tried to change the channel... but I didn't have the remote control in my hand.

Friday was spent napping a little less and taking pills every 4 hours. I was in no shape to attend Good Friday services that night so everyone left me on the sofa and went without me. I was sad but there was no way I could sit on a hard chair and not drool all over myself.

By Saturday I was sure I would feel better and told the girls we'd go shopping. Well shopping consisted of everyone accompanying me to the grocery store to buy just what we needed for Easter breakfast at church. Big Daddy ended up having to do the actual grocery shopping in the middle of the night.

I did make it to church (barely). I can only imagine what people must have thought. I was quiet and subdued, not like me at all, and we bolted the minute service was over. But I was sure I could make it through the night without my trusty vicodin and be able to drive to work Monday morning.

Hey, guess what? I couldn't and didn't.

I have stayed home sick with the flu, vomiting and diarrhea, and still fired up my laptop and answered emails and took calls. Not this time. I did manage to stay awake most of the day and only napped once. I finally dragged myself to the office Tuesday but spent the day wishing I was dead.

To top it all off, my mother and her husband decided this would be a fantastic time to drive their travel trailer all the way down from Indiana for a week long visit this week. So after a torturous day at the office, I have to go home and get little princes and drive to their trailer park for dinner and a couple hours of chitchat, when all I really want to do is go home and die on my sofa.

Friday I am supposed to compete in a company skeet shoot. I am currently trying to come up with a plausible story as to why I can't shoot. The upside is that its 3 hours away and I won't have to see my mom that night. The downside is that after getting home late Friday night, I'm supposed to take her, her husband and the girls to the "Cowboy Capital of the World" an hour from here for a day of shopping on Saturday, instead of spending the day in bed recovering.

Please pray for the recovery of my "delicate area" and patience in dealing with my mother and her husband.

* I love this tea called "Gold Peak". Its sweet tea with 0 calories. Its hard to find in my area and I had just returned from a business trip in Houston and found it at a hole in the wall gas station. I always carry a cooler so if I find it, I can stock up.

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