A Rose By Any Other Name

Have you ever recreated yourself?

I have now lived half my life under my new names.

Growing up my mother discouraged my teen attempts at reinventing myself. She controlled what I wore and who I was friends with and where I went. So I tried shortening my name the way Robert becomes Bob. To my mother this was totally unacceptable. She's a firm believer in a leopard can't change its spots. Whereas I was sure I could change who I and others thought I was with a name change.

Hey, it was a start.

My mother thwarted my attempts at a new name by telling people there was no such person and hanging up on them.

I waited until the first moment I was free of her control and completely abandoned my full name. I even changed my legal signature. I never told anyone my full name. About two years into this I even changed my last name in an attempt to banish my past.

You know what?

It worked.

I have kept my new names for 20 years now and I like the person that owns them. They fit very well together.

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Big Princess attempted to switch to her middle name in middle school but too many people knew her and they couldn't make the jump.

Little princess has made that very jump and recreated herself. Gone is the girl she left behind, born is the girl she wants to become. She has skipped shortening and middle names and gone straight to intials.

ps. My mother and my brother are the only 2 people on this earth that call my by given name. I think they do it to remind me of the girl I left behind.