And the Award goes to... the jerk

I had a Lions Club meeting that I wasn't looking forward to last week. It was the annual installation of officers dinner. I've been travelling alot for work and hadn't made several of the last meetings. I tried to get out of it by asking a friend at work if he wanted to get some dinner before he headed back to Dallas. But he finished his meeting at 3 pm and wanted to get on the road. I left work at 5 pm and headed towards the meeting but I was still not feeling it. I just didn't feel like making small talk with 30 men in their 70's and 80's (3 are in their 90's).

I called my old boss and asked if he wanted to get a drink and chat but he was already home. Left with no options I went to the meeting. The first hour was drinks and that did make me feel a little better. On my 3rd gin and tonic I saw why. The bartender was filling the glasses almost all the way to the top with gin. I thought "Holy Crap, she's getting these old men plastered."

Dinner wasn't bad, kind of low grade prime rib. Due to my lack of date I was placed at the single table. It was just one of those nights when you'd rather be somewhere else, anywhere else. All thru dinner I was plotting my escape. Should I just go to the bathroom and slip out? I could fake a call from the kids and make my apologies. Or the old stand by about an early morning meeting usually works. Dinner wrapped up and they started the installation of officers and annual awards.

I waited as long as I could and was reaching for my purse under the table to make my escape, when suddenly I hear, "and the award goes to...ME!"

I felt like a real jerk for trying to avoid the whole meeting and then plotting my early departure.