The Exact Moment It Happened

Little princess hit puberty on May 27, 2006, approx. 6 pm.

You ask how I know? That’s the last time I saw her. She has retreated to her bedroom anytime either of her parents enter the house. She stays up late and sleeps all day no matter what I do to get her to stick to a reasonable schedule. That and I think the phone has been permanently attached to the side of her head. What could two 12 year olds have to talk about for 11 hours? Seriously.

Adolescent experts talk about the stage kids go through around puberty when they pull away from parents and start to form their own separate identity. It's a crucial part of growing up. Psychologists call it “distancing.”

I feel like the girl I loved is gone, and in her place is a young person who pushes my buttons with her moodiness, sarcastic replies and laziness. What actually happens is testiness, arguing, weeping, temper tantrums, holier-than-thou, parents-don't-have-a-clue behavior.

The ‘Experts” advise parents: Don't take it personally.

How could I not take it personally? My adorable little girl can’t stand to be in the same room with me, disagrees with everything I say, won’t do what she’s supposed to do when she’s supposed to, and I’m not supposed to take that personally. Is this is the same child that said even when she grew up and moved away she would call me every night to say, “Goodnight, I love you.”

But I guess this is what teenagers have to do, otherwise they would never leave home and become productive members of society in their own right. They must push us away and make the parents the villain in their minds so they can break free without it hurting too much. That makes sense.

I’m not really complaining, mind you. I know that she will come out the other side (in 5 or 6 years) and return to me just as Big Princess did. After all, this is what children are supposed to be doing at this age, and wouldn't you feel sad if your child wasn't able to do that? Just ask my friend in Utah who’s son has autism and will never leave home and live on his own.