I'm still a work in progress

One of my friends emailed me today to offer some cash to help a displaced family I’m working with. She said: "My key is: “What Would Paula Do?” You are the closest thing to Jesus I know."

At first I was freaked out and wanted to say no, no, no, but then I thought isn't that what I'm striving for, to walk in Jesus' foot steps.

Knowing me like I do, its hard for me to see me how others might see me. I've always assumed they could see my doubt, my frustration, and all the other ugly things that run thru my head. Even if they can’t see inside me, surely they’ve seen me grump at someone because they haven’t lived up to my standards. Let’s not even get into my ignorance. I know people that have studied the bible like there was going to be a test at the end. I’m not one of them and there probably will be.

I know I fall short in God's eyes. But I have to imagine him smiling and shaking his head at some of the stuff I pull (like a child in her father's eyes). Amused but still wanting to swat my behind.

I'll never forget my oldest daughter when she found out the church had asked me to be a deacon. "Mom, do they know you swear and spit?" Apparently they do...and they love me anyways, just like Jesus.