Monday Ramblings

My mother called to tell me about a guy from high school that she tried to make my boyfriend and we all called the “Eating Machine” was doing. “He’s a school teacher now. Isn’t that wonderful?” I don’t give a rat’s ass about what he’s up to. “And his wife is a teacher too.” Whoopidity do da! Gotta go mom, the dryer just shut off and I’ve got to iron the pillow cases.

I ate granola for breakfast. No milk or bowl, I just poured it on my desk and ate it. I developed a headache before lunch from grinding my teeth to eat said granola.

I have to make about 20 safety manuals for my trip to the field next week. So, I’m in the production room trying to see if we have those little black binding combs and one of the new engineers walks over to the giant network printer and tries to lift the top. I’m like “hey, what are you looking for?” I have my wireless headset on so he thinks I’m on the phone and not speaking to him. I wave at him like he’s sleepwalking and tell him, “that’s a printer, the copier is over here.” He’s got an engineering degree and he can’t tell a printer from a copier?

I covered the front desk for the receptionist at lunch today. The phone rang twice. One guy said, “Ahhh, I’d like to talk to somebody.” Oh really, is that why you called here? “Ahhh, I’d like to talk about a pipeline.” Great, what would you like to say about a pipeline? “Could you tell me where your pipeline is?” All over freakin Texas and parts of Louisiana , mister. Can you be more specific? I wonder why the receptionist doesn’t ask me to watch the phone for her more often?

I was talking to the IT guy about merging the new company we bought into our network. His department keeps saying October. I keep asking what year? I told him I was going to be 40 this month and was running out of time. He was shocked. Not that I doubted his department's ability to merge the two networks but that I’d be 40. I don’t think he was just being kind because he demanded id to prove it. Since when do women have to prove they’re turning 40.

I started rounding up friends and co-workers to put the big day on their calendars. We are going down to the Alamo to tie-one-on. Nothing says 40 like $8 margaritas.

My new best friend, Kid Rock, is sending me a book that I can use to mock Big Princess. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you all about it when it arrives. I’m so jazzed!

And how was your Monday?