I am not a winner

So its not the first time I've been asked to run for Elder at church but it was the first time I agreed to even be on the ballot. (I think the first time only involved 45 minutes of me laughing.) Its not that I can't do the job, its that I'm not sure I'm qualified to do the job. I mean, Elders are/should be dignified and wise, hence the title of Elder.

I asked how many we were electing and was told 1 or 2. "So how many people are on the ballot?"

"One or two..."

Great, my odds were better than 50/50. I asked if everyone was aware of my habit of swearing and awesome spitting abilities.

"The people that nominated you know you well."

Well, the votes are in and apparently they found some more better qualified people and I came in last, dead last. Yea!!! Not bad out of three candidates. I didn't but wanted to write "any one but me" on the ballet and circle my name. (Wait, they might have counted that as a vote since my name was circled. Wouldn't that be hilarious if I got myself voted in because I was trying to be funny? or would that be ironic? Please discuss amongst yourselves...)

I guess I just don't feel like a leader. People may get the wrong impression because what I am is fearless with my own life. The only person I enjoy leading is me. If the rest of you want to dance behind me, I'm ok with that. Just don't say I caused you to dance.

I realize this occassion puts me at the top of the list next go round. So I'm getting ready.

If it looked like the voting was going to be close and I was in danger of winning, I was prepared to whip out my secret weapon... pictures of me pole dancing from The Public Transportation Adventure Over Christmas Vacation.