Hanging with the boys

Sometimes, for no reason, the boys will invite me to lunch. Today they searched me out. I was working on acquisitions in the conference room. “Hey, wanna eat enchiladas?”

(Duhh) “I’ve only got $5 cash on me.” “No worries, company’s buying.”

So five executives and me head out for Mexican. I have to fight the corporate attorney for the middle seat in the mini van. He really wanted me to sit up front but as least ranking I felt obligated to bring up the rear. (Chivalry’s not dead)

I’m never sure why I’m there. They generally talk about hunting, fishing, business while I sit there silently. And all conversations generally reference people I’ve never met so even the great stories are lost on me. But hey, a free lunch is a free lunch. Plus, I get to observe the male mind at its best, men relating to other men about men stuff while eating men food. Ha, it’s only a couple steps from actually being in the men’s locker room.

Today one gentleman was trying to figure out how to get out of going somewhere with his wife. He was bouncing ideas off the guys. “How about, ‘Honey, it would be better for me if …” The other guys were taking bets as to if he would arrive at the deer blind before or after her plane actually left the ground.

And what do you think he is trying to escape? The inlaws, a wedding, children, Disneyland? No, a football game. Some bowl game in California. He doesn’t want to fly into LAX and be mobbed because they’re wearing orange. He’s concerned about overbooking by the airlines since they’re flying back Jan. 2nd. He’s afraid his wife will be pissed because he wants her to go with her oldest daughter so he can go hunting.

He tried “How about if I tell her daughter that it’s a Christmas gift to her for being so nice? I can tell my wife that I think she deserves to go on the trip with her mother.”

He didn’t really ask for my opinion but I had sat there quietly for 20 minutes. “I saw on the news this morning a new study has put out a list of things that make women happy. Having sex was number one. You should tell her then. Spending time with the children didn’t make the Top 10 so I wouldn’t push taking the daughter as a plus.” Wow, I don’t know if it was the word sex or just my actually saying something but from then on I was “in”. Finally, we had a conversation I could participate in. I should try to work the word sex into more conversations…