Hard Questions at 37

My brother called. Being a cross country truck driver doesn’t give him many friends. So when he needs someone to vent to, its usually me. He started by telling me about how he had to kick Hooters girl out of his mobile home. He had invited her in so the place wouldn’t be empty for weeks on end when he’s on the road. He had very specific rules and she broke everyone of them. He is annal about rules but she understood them prior to breaking them so I don’t blame him for being pissed. (No one was to use the toilet in his bathroom, so he taped a hair to the closed lid.)

However, he did ask her to leave the week before Christmas and only gave her about four days to find another place and she does have a small child. Apparently things got ugly and she is related to his Dad’s girlfriend. So my brother calls his dad and the girlfriend to come over and fix things. He proceeds to yell at his Dad’s girlfriend and get into a fight with his Dad too.

I have long warned my brother that some day he was gonna wanna know why our parents did the crappy things they have done to us. My break through happened in my early 30’s. I told my mom I wasn’t going to lie to her any more. She was not welcome to her grandchildren while she was married to an alcoholic or while she thought calling them names and putting them down built character.

For my brother, he wanted to know why his father always took the side of poor excuses for women over him. Why his Dad never came to visit him and his wife when they miscarried his only true grandchild and yet his dad visits ex-wife’s children’s babies. My brother deserves to know these things. They weigh heavy on his heart. He deserves a father who will stand up for him over all else. He has asked me these questions for years and I always tell him I don’t know.
Apparently year 37 is the year little brother becomes unafraid to ask the hard questions. I haven’t warned him that the answers don’t make you feel better instantly. It takes several years to understand the answers and several more to come to terms and where necessary forgive.