Just another day in the life of...

I sat in my hammock chair tonight at dusk and listened to the neighborhood. It was quiet, no human noise. I wondered where my neighbors were that they were missing this awesome evening. The birds chirped and dogs barked. I swayed in the breeze and thought how lucky I am and how perfect the moment was.

BAM! The screen door slams.

“Mommmm, do you want to know what she is doing now!” Big Princes whines.

So much for the perfect moment. I haul my butt out of the hammock and head inside to deal with the latest calamity.

“I’m not tattling, I’m just telling you…(amazing that she has been using these same words for the last 11 years) She’s washed all the dinner dishes without using a washrag, Big Princess says, trailing behind me. “And were you aware she broke a candle holder during Spring Break last week. Cause I don’t think she told you and she said she would tell you.

Little princess is having a rough night. Her ADD is kicking her ass, she can’t remember anything she’s been told to do. We spend 20 minutes arguing over her choice of outfits for school the next day. You can’t wear navy blue pants and a navy blue shirt.

It’s 8:15 and I’ve about had it with all the arguing. Little princess comes out of her room and starts to argue with Big Princess who is sitting next to me on the sofa over something in their room while I’m trying to watch TV. I yell, “Shut the hell up!” Little princess comes back out of her room and says “What?”

Argh! “Shut the hell up! And I can’t believe you just made me say it again!”

Big Princess looks at me and says, “Say what again?”

“Shut the h…” I think I’ll just take a nice long bath.

2:30 a.m., I am suddenly awakened by moaning. What the hell? Are we being haunted? I look up. Little princess is just standing beside the bed. “I think I’m gonna puke.” “So why are you in here and not in the bathroom? I prefer you puke in the bathroom.” So I get up and get little princess a bowl and settle her on the sofa and return to bed. Ten minutes later, I leap up to the sounds of vomiting.

It’s gonna be a long night.