I've Seen It All

Our annual White Elephant gift exchange at Church only happens once a year for a very good reason... your gift could wind up on ebay.

A once in a lifetime opportunity!
Popular Blogger and Published Author
Real Live Preacher's Bountiful harvest of 2006 belly button lint
100% authentic complete with the infamous cascarone confetti piece.

Don't miss this one time opportunity to have in your home, a piece of Real Live Preacher. I get him every Sunday but now you too can have a piece of RLP on your mantel next to the urn in which you keep Aunt Mavis.

Complete with Certificate of Authenticity signed by RLP himself:
"What you hold in your hands is a 2006 crop of high-quality belly-button lint, grown and harvested over the last year by RLP. The colors of the collection reflect the variety of new shirts I wore over the past year, including a very rare bit of lime-colored lint from a Habitat For Humnity t-shirt.Also included in the collection is a single piece of confetti from a Fiesta party. This miraculous bit of confetti, working with all the vigor and optimism of a salmon going upstream, managed to find its way down the front of my shirt and ended up in my belly-button, where I found it the morning after. I certify on my honor that every piece of lint in the collection is genuine and was gathered by myself from a period beginning at Christmas of 2005 and ending in December of 2006.
Note: This collection contains no lint gathered from the dryer or any other source."

On a side note:
Little princess brought a friend from girl scouts to the party. I keep extra gifts around cause this happens frequently. The girl, who's parent I met once for 5 minutes that same day, ended up with a gigantic pair of women's underware. I wondered how I was going to tell the girl's dad that she received size 52 panties at the church Christmas party. Little princess and said girl scout seemed totally jazzed by the gift and proceded to put said undies on both of them, at the same time, over their clothes, like some strangely connected set of siamese twins.

Big Daddy stole the David and Goliath action figure's from RLP and I ended up with a pair of tiny slippers (that might fit my dog) after RLP stole my ceramic cow with a goose on its back and both of them wearing santa hats. But I'm not bitter.