The holidays always bring me down

Well, I got everything I asked my family for Christmas, socks, crockpot, electric knife, fish tank stuff, air freshners. Big Princess even surprised me with a black rabbit fur scarf that I have always had my eye on but couldn’t justify buying for myself. It says ‘Made in China” and its made of little balls of rabbit fur, so it must be made of Chinese rabbit balls. Everyone was very please with her gifts, a pretty pink jacket for little princess, a power tie for Big Daddy. We had duck for dinner. It didn't suck. Big Princess' prayer over the meal did suck.

Big Daddy doesn’t attend church with us but a couple times a year. I asked him to go with us Christmas Eve. He said yes and that was a present to me. Service was small since so many were traveling and short, only about 35 minutes. He is always amazed to learn something new but not enough to actually attend church on a regular basis. It’s the people he dislikes. Not personally but just in general. He says that if we could just go to service, no Sunday School, and just leave immediately, he’d go to church. It’s all that caring and talking to each other he wants no part of.

To me that’s all church is, caring and talking. Anyone can sit home and read a bible. It’s the community I crave. Maybe its because my family growing up was so disfunctional that I need to surround myself with people who actually care about me. No, that can’t be it. I don’t really have any deep meaningful relationships at church. I don’t hang with those people outside of church, share meals outside of church, attend parties at their homes. But maybe that’s why I go to church, because I want to have people who actually care about me (i.e., deep meaningful relationships).

Don’t get me wrong, I have relationships with people from church but not deep outside of church relationships. I want to. But due to my upbringing I’m not sure how one goes about starting or maintaining this type relationship.