Job Titles

I’ve been named “Floor Warden”. It sounds cool. Will I get to wear some sort of belt with handcuffs and a night stick on it? Do I get to walk around and bully prisoners, I mean employees? W A R D E N…It sounds butch. I wanna be the “lipstick” warden.

Upon further checking, apparently I am responsible for figuring out if everyone from my floor is out of the building during any type of evacuations, (ie. Fire drills, Bomb Threats). I don’t know how many people exactly that is, more than 20, less than 100? Do I need to assign buddies, specify a meeting location outside and then take attendance like in elementary school? Am I supposed to be the last man to leave and run through the building ensuring everyone’s out? I’m kind of a “every man for himself” person.

I also forgot to ask how exactly I was appointed to this position. What happened to the last Floor Warden? Did they retire or was there some incident related to the job that caused them to leave. Did a committee vote me in because I am so very capable or did they draw names from a hat.

No matter, I plan to start practicing a “Warden Walk”. It will be some sort of swagger. I think I’ll get a sign to hang outside my cube too.