How to Correctly use the Gym Locker Room

There are 2 types of women that don’t use the gym locker room correctly.

ps—I didn’t realize there was an incorrect way to use the locker room?

Oh yeah, there is.

First Group of Incorrect Users
These women walk around totally naked on their cell phones. They occasionally stretch naked or try engage others in conversation while naked. They basically just hang out naked all over the locker room. They make eye contact with people while naked. The key word here is naked, totally naked.

Second Group of Incorrect Users
This group of women have never seen themselves naked and refuse to allow so much as a glimpse of flesh to be exposed to complete strangers in a gym locker room. Ick!! To the tenth degree. They will take all their gear to the toilet stall to change, lest someone see their underwear. They will, in a pinch, even use the shower stalls to change--provided the stalls have curtains. These women, in desperation, will even try to change clothes without removing what they originally have on. One lady attempted to remove her wet swim suit after she got dressed—in jeans.

Now I will provide the correct way to use a gym locker room.

1. Upon entering, find a locker in an area that is not currently crowded. No cozying up to the only other person in there.

2. Get your gear/clothing out.

3. Begin removing your street clothes while keeping your head slightly down. NEVER look around.

4. Quickly put your workout clothes on while not making eye contact with anyone.

5. Stow your gear and get out.

When done, reverse the process however you like, as long as you don’t run around naked or hole up in a toilet or shower stall that someone could be using for, oh say, toileting or showering.

(ha! Toileting! I didn’t want to say peeing or crapping. That’s not classy.)

I will be posting these instructions in the girl’s locker room. Please let me know if the boy’s locker room needs a copy.