I don’t care what you call it

If you made a movie starring Christian Slater, Johnny Depp, and Brendan Fraser, you could call it anything, even title it “The Crappiest Movie Ever”, and every woman and most of the effeminate men would see it and be like, “Wow, was that the greatest movie ever, or what?”

Show all three bare bottomed and I guarantee video sales will make you rich enough to buy your own country.

This is my dream…

Why I like them (besides their hot bodies and money):

Christian Slater
Allegedly groped a woman outside a deli in NY (and she sued him? I would have tipped him.)

Is among a host of stars who have teamed up to pledge their support for environmental awareness and is taking part in the “Explore Your Environment” campaign in collaboration with several clothing manufacturer. (Ahhhh, I think that means he’s pimping t-shirts.)

Plans to leave his former wild Los Angeles lifestyle behind for good by making London his permanent home. (Yeah, like there aren’t any parties in London. He’s just judge shopping in a new country for the next time his busts the paparazzi in the face.)

Johnny Depp
Sometimes Credited As: Oprah Noodlemantra (Well, my fake name is Duckie McCrackers, so there!)

Featured on a rock album from British band, 'Oasis'. Depp plays lead slide guitar on the track, "Fade In-Out". Oasis's own lead guitarist was too drunk to perform it himself, so Depp stepped in and nailed the lead on one take. (Wow, Johnny, I had that same dream but I woke up.)

Adopted Goldeneye, the one-eyed Andalusian horse who played Gunpowder, Ichabod Crane's steed, thereby saving him from the glue factory. (And where is this horse now? I never see him on the red carpet or in any of the tabloids. Come on, what kind of life is that?)

Brendan Fraser
Whenever appearing in a Pauly Shore movie, he uses the character name 'Link'. (How many movies with Pauly Shore has he been in?)

He speaks French fluently. (Add that to a smoking hot body and he’s funny… Sorry I just passed out from his hotness.)

Claims he seeks out roles combining 'silliness and sexiness'. (And man, is that working for him. I don’t care what movie he’s in, if the movie sucks, I watch it with the volume off.)