I Broke All My "Rules of Behavior"

1. No getting Shit Faced
2. No Dancing
3. No Swimsuit

Obey these rules and no one can talk smack about you the next day.


It started with the usual Friday morning conference call... except I called in from home. I immediately left for the salon and got my locks curled while Big Princess fetched me a latte from Starbucks. Then off to the airport for Houston. The calls started flying.


"Are you going?" (Hell yes!)

"Who else is coming?" (Only the IT dept. that I'm aware of)

"What time will you be here?" (I should be to the hotel by 4:30)

"Who's your date?" (My girlfriend from Baytown)

"What are you wearing?" (Not sure yet, I brought 2 dresses)

"What time are you showing up?" (The party starts at 7:30 so I plan to be there by 8 pm)


I called my friend and left a message, "Are we meeting today or are you blowing me off... again?"


He called back before my plane left the ground. He got hung up and was not going to make it. Hell, he didn't even think he'd make it to the party. So instead of checking into the hotel around 4 pm, I got there at 1 pm, grabbed some lunch and started to do some work. It was not to be. My date arrived first and then everyone else started to arrive and congregate in my room.


I was stewing about him cancelling another meeting and not being at the party after I drug his Christmas present all this way. Someone asked why I was here so much earlier than anticipated and I explained the cancelled meeting and it got me more fired up. "Fuck him! I don't even care what he needs help with... he can do it himself. Hell, open his damn gift, rip that paper girl. We are drinking his Christmas present." And with that we killed a bottle of Crown XO before the party started.

We finally shoo'd my friends out so we could get ready for the party. I brought two dresses and we decided on the red one. My date brought 4 dress and 6 pairs of shoes. It took much longer to help her decide what to wear. We made the party at 8 pm after picking up a coworker and his girlfriend. We ate, continued drinking and I think I dirty danced (do to the soreness of my thighs the next day). Not quite, sure as things start to get a little fuzzy at this point. The formal party ended at midnight and we all headed to the after party at a favorite bar. I remember 2 more drinks and then, bam, I'm back at the hotel and its 3:30 am.

I wake up at 7:30 am in just my panties and walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. "Huh, someone took my make-up off." It took me 10 min. to realize that no one took my make-up off but me. I tried real hard to remember how we got back from the bar to the hotel but no dice. My feet were extremely dirty so I figured we must have taken our shoes off and walked (but it could have been a really dirty cab too).

I called one of my friends to see if she could fill in the blanks and discovered my friends missed their flight to Vegas as they were supposed to leave the hotel at 4 am for the airport and we didn't get back to the hotel until 3:30 and they decided to lay down and sleep for 12 minutes.

Well, after checking around, I didn't do anything too embarassing and I don't have to update my resume and start looking for new employment. Oh yeah, after a two day hangover, I remember why I don't drink whiskey.