Today, I Am Pissed Off

I'll just start from the end and work my way forward.

I thought I'd blog about it because each thing I've done prior to this has made me feel a little better but not back to my centered self. I rarely have to employ my whole arsenal of tricks to empty the negative but maybe PMS can be blamed and tomorrow really will be a whole new day.

I killed the Dibs. Ice cream is on my top five list of things that make me feel better.

Little princess and I watched "Chuck" and it made me laugh... a little bit.

I ate some cucumbers and dip that I made myself. I love my dill weed dip. I can't describe the flavor but its gooooood!

I made myself a TALL rum and coke. Sometimes a little buzz is just what the doctor ordered to shut the brain down at bedtime. I am terribly prone to lying in bed and rehashing things over and over and over. "I should have said... I should have done..."

Showering wakes some people up and makes others sleepy. I just like that fresh squeeky clean feeling, especially after a vigorous work out at the gym. It definitely wasn't gym day (after working out Sat. and Sun.) but I thought, "What the hell," a little excercise has been known to change my perspective on things.

My aunt returned my call from a couple days ago. I didn't tell her I'd call her back, as was my first instinct. I figured a chat with family might just cheer me up. I had called her while on the road late last week. I just wanted to check in since its been all most two months since grandma died. She went quick and unexpectedly so I figured some of my many aunts and uncles might be having a hard time. She related that one aunt has suffered a nervous break down and has been hospitalized due to infection and the fact that she stopped taking her cancer drugs. My favorite (alive) uncle has been in the hospital for three weeks after falling off his motorcycle. His skull has been removed and placed in his abdomen for safe keeping. His son, my cousin, lives with him but hasn't been to the hospital to visit and now various aunts and uncles are decending to whip his ass.

Little princess has had to fend for many dinners lately so I heated up some leftover KFC and checked her homework as soon as I got home from work. She hates long division and so do I.

I considered calling a friend or two on the way home to vent but I opted instead to roll the windows down and crank the tunes. Sometimes I can distract myself with music on the way home and clear my head.

The day had been ok, busy but ok. The afternoon changed all that. It went down hill fast. I stood my ground but this maybe wasn't the battle to do that. There just wasn't time to process what was happening before the next call or person. I know I'll have to answer to the Big Boss tomorrow (he emailed me at 6:30 pm to call him first thing tomorrow) but that's ok. At 5 pm I walked out before I said something in the heat of the moment that I'd really regret. I do believe my last words were "I'm done" and a very dramatic (and Italian) wiping of my hands.