Post Highlights

I had some minor outpatient surgery in (let's just call it) a delicate area last Thursday. It seemed like a good time to have it done. Big Princess was home on Spring Break and could take me and then take care of me. I was off work the next day for Good Friday, so it would basically give me almost four days of recovery time.

It kicked my ass.

Pre-surgery went fine with only a minor hiccup with the insertion of the IV. (I currently have a bruise that looks like Mike Tyson punched me with an IV needle.) Big Princess blew up a latex glove and we played beach ball until we got to giggling too loudly and got busted by the doctor. Then they gave me a happy shot and wheeled me away.

I should have had an inkling of things to come when the doctor gave me 2 IV injections of morphine and sent me home with prescriptions for vicodin and muscle relaxers. Big Princess settled me on the sofa and went to meet my drug dealer, I mean fill my prescriptions. She came home and doled out my drugs. Then, according to her, she asked if she could have some of my tea*... to which I slurred, "NO! Drink my liquor. I can get more liquor."

The rest of the day was spent sleeping and taking pills. Little princess said that one time I held my hand toward the TV and tried to change the channel... but I didn't have the remote control in my hand.

Friday was spent napping a little less and taking pills every 4 hours. I was in no shape to attend Good Friday services that night so everyone left me on the sofa and went without me. I was sad but there was no way I could sit on a hard chair and not drool all over myself.

By Saturday I was sure I would feel better and told the girls we'd go shopping. Well shopping consisted of everyone accompanying me to the grocery store to buy just what we needed for Easter breakfast at church. Big Daddy ended up having to do the actual grocery shopping in the middle of the night.

I did make it to church (barely). I can only imagine what people must have thought. I was quiet and subdued, not like me at all, and we bolted the minute service was over. But I was sure I could make it through the night without my trusty vicodin and be able to drive to work Monday morning.

Hey, guess what? I couldn't and didn't.

I have stayed home sick with the flu, vomiting and diarrhea, and still fired up my laptop and answered emails and took calls. Not this time. I did manage to stay awake most of the day and only napped once. I finally dragged myself to the office Tuesday but spent the day wishing I was dead.

To top it all off, my mother and her husband decided this would be a fantastic time to drive their travel trailer all the way down from Indiana for a week long visit this week. So after a torturous day at the office, I have to go home and get little princes and drive to their trailer park for dinner and a couple hours of chitchat, when all I really want to do is go home and die on my sofa.

Friday I am supposed to compete in a company skeet shoot. I am currently trying to come up with a plausible story as to why I can't shoot. The upside is that its 3 hours away and I won't have to see my mom that night. The downside is that after getting home late Friday night, I'm supposed to take her, her husband and the girls to the "Cowboy Capital of the World" an hour from here for a day of shopping on Saturday, instead of spending the day in bed recovering.

Please pray for the recovery of my "delicate area" and patience in dealing with my mother and her husband.

* I love this tea called "Gold Peak". Its sweet tea with 0 calories. Its hard to find in my area and I had just returned from a business trip in Houston and found it at a hole in the wall gas station. I always carry a cooler so if I find it, I can stock up.

Its like a mirror on the inside...

I didn't used to see a lot of myself in little princess. I mean she's tall and lanky; I'm regular length and on the round side. I have big boobs and grey eyes; she has brown eyes and, although her boobs are still coming in, they are probably going to be more regular sized. She's a crier; I'd rather amputate a body part than have someone see me cry. She's a cat person; I love dogs. I'm a go-getter. Do the hard stuff first and get it out of the way. Little princess believes the hard stuff will go away if she ignores it long enough (or maybe she just hope someone else will do it).

I went to her parent teacher conference today. Eighth grade isn't easy but if you don't turn your homework in for, say 6 weeks, it can be pretty hard to act cool in front of your teachers 5 minutes before your mom shows up for a chat.

One teacher said little princess stopped him in the hall to ask what he was going to tell me. Another teacher said little princess had uttered her "catch phrase" in class today. "Well, I'm almost passing."

Her teachers describe her as smart, eccentric, unique, whimsical and quirky. Today they told me stories of how she cheers them up. Cheers Them UP. One teacher said, "I can't wait to see what she grows up to be." They are all truly impressed with her ability to do her own thing and how she doesn't really much care what other people think of her essentric behavior.

In eighth grade most kids are killing themselves to fit the standard, be normal in the eyes of their peers, go with the flow. Not my kid, who takes her lunch to school in empty "Easy Mac" and cereal boxes, wears bright pink rubber boots with her gym uniform, only does half her hair (on purpose).

I think this is what we have in common, they ability to act how we want, be ourselves, without fear of alienating those we care about and who love us. Do her teachers and friends like her any less because she once glued Furby's eye lashes on her eyes? I am over joyed to hear that my brown eyed, skinny, tall, moderately boobed, daughter does her own thing to the delight of those that truly care about her and that she brings them joy just by knowing her.

ps. She isn't passing all her classes but she "almost is".

Nothing Says Texas Like...

a Monday night emergency trip to Walmart for gun cleaner and beer.

Why do they keep the beer so far away from the gun stuff?

The Doctor Is In

I flew to Dallas last night and back this morning to attend a birthday party for a big whig from work who rented a whole theater and had 2 bands play, 2 bars, and a buffet. I wanted to look good so I headed to the salon before my flight to get my hair "done".

Oscar is amazing. The shampo job was like a mini massage and the blowout was warm and relaxing. The end result? I look totally fabulous and I was completely relaxed.

I took my best-friend as my date and we had a ball. The night ended with us laying in bed, giggling like 5 year olds until we fell asleep.

I feel better than I have all year. I can't believe that a 14 hour trip could totally change my outlook on life. I thought it would take atleast a year of therapy...

Found Out

Hi little princess!

She wouldn't give up until she found me. Oh, she'd asked several times where my blog was located and I told her it was none of her business.

After she announced she'd found it, I explained, "Fine, but you can't get mad if you read something you don't like. My blog is where I go to vent, de-stress, and record my feelings; both the good and the bad. Its like my diary. If I knew where your diary was, would you like it if I read it?"

So little princes... if you're reading this you should probably be doing the dishes and getting ready for bed. Don't make me tell you again!

ps. You look totally cute in the new tennis outfit I bought you this weekend. Now go learn to play tennis.

A Legend in my own mind

1. Had drinks with a friend Friday.
2. Birthed some kittens Friday too.
3. Took my family to a nice seafood restaurant on Saturday even though I'm allergic to seafood.
4. Sunday called a guy friend to shoot a couple of round of skeet and then work out at the gym.
5. Made a sick Big Daddy cheddar potato soup as a finale on Sunday.

I'm so friggin awesome I'm surprised men aren't lined up down the block to woo me... Guess the word is out that I'm taken.