Plague Plushies

Plush Plagues Bag

Includes all 10 plagues!
Ages 3 & up
Keeps the kids entertained during Passover. This plush yellow plagues bag contains representations for all of the plagues (not necessarily in the correct order):

1. A spooky eyed drop of blood


2. A Frog for frogs-of course


3. A Giant Lice for lice.


4. Cow for cattle disease


5. Black Locust for locusts


6. A white satin lump of hail


7. A black cube of darkness


8. An icky boil on a piece of flesh!


9. A snarling lion's head for wild beasts


10. and last of all a very sad head - for death of the first born.

The frog, lice, cow and locust wriggle and roll their eyes, quiver, buzz and move when you pull their string and are apx 4.5" long.

Only $19.95 plus shipping and handling.

http://www.judaism.com/display.asp?type=quicksearch&etn=IIBHH

How fast was the pig going?

I handle incident/accident reports for the company. Employees are required to submit a report as to what happened (in their opinion). Here's today's entry:

This morning at 6:40 am Billy Bob was heading east on highway 20, the pig was heading south across the highway. The company vehicle hit the pig's head with the left front bumper (estimated speed at time of collision 25 mph). The pig spun around and his butt hit the left driver door. Pig headed north, back from where he come.

No injuries or witnesses. No police report.

* The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I Don't Even Know Who I Am

There have been several news stories about teens blogging to much personal information. They're pouring out their hearts and divulging all kinds of personal information online about their sex lives, and their drug lives. This information would disturb parents, and might even interest police.

After seeing the latest story on the news, Big Daddy immediately looks at me and says “See, I told you this would happen,” like we had just suffered a home invasion due to my blog. “And what about the princesses? Have you checked their blogs?”

This coming from the man who cannot even get to the internet on his own and has never seen anyone’s blog.

I assure him that the girls are not using personal information and that no one (except family) is even visiting the princess’ sites.

“What about yours? You said that 200 people a month are reading your blog.”

True, but most of them are there by accident, don’t spend much time, and are in another country. Here’s this month’s stats:

285 hits so far this month

Vistors from:
US
Mexico
Portugal
Malaysia
Australia
Canada
Ukraine
Spain
United Kingdom

Search engine requests:
rubber necking
questions about in love with cousin
i love rats
shot in the butt
how to get dried house paint off of car carpet

Those that know me might recognize me but I don’t think there’s enough info out there for the average joe to put it together. And why would he want to? How dull must their life be to want to figure out who I am?

What are they gonna do…

Leave me a COMMENT?

A Rose By Any Other Name

Have you ever recreated yourself?

I have now lived half my life under my new names.

Growing up my mother discouraged my teen attempts at reinventing myself. She controlled what I wore and who I was friends with and where I went. So I tried shortening my name the way Robert becomes Bob. To my mother this was totally unacceptable. She's a firm believer in a leopard can't change its spots. Whereas I was sure I could change who I and others thought I was with a name change.

Hey, it was a start.

My mother thwarted my attempts at a new name by telling people there was no such person and hanging up on them.

I waited until the first moment I was free of her control and completely abandoned my full name. I even changed my legal signature. I never told anyone my full name. About two years into this I even changed my last name in an attempt to banish my past.

You know what?

It worked.

I have kept my new names for 20 years now and I like the person that owns them. They fit very well together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Big Princess attempted to switch to her middle name in middle school but too many people knew her and they couldn't make the jump.

Little princess has made that very jump and recreated herself. Gone is the girl she left behind, born is the girl she wants to become. She has skipped shortening and middle names and gone straight to intials.

ps. My mother and my brother are the only 2 people on this earth that call my by given name. I think they do it to remind me of the girl I left behind.

Loopholes

PHOENIX (AP) -- Fetuses do not count as passengers when it comes to determining who may drive in the carpool lane, a judge ruled.

The woman was fined $367 for improper use of a carpool lane, but contended the fetus inside her womb allowed her to use the lane. The Municipal Judge rejected the woman's argument Tuesday, applying a "common sense" definition in which an individual is someone who occupies a "separate and distinct" space in a vehicle.

The police stopped the woman's car Nov. 8. When asked how many people were in the car, she said two, pointing to "her obvious pregnancy".

The officer said this "would require officers to carry guns, radios and pregnancy testers, and I don't think we want to go there."

“Yes, ma’am, can I see your license, insurance and would you pee in the cup for me?”

And to think my dad just used to use an inflatable doll…

Ever feel disconnected?

I haven't had much time for my relationships outside of my family in some time. I miss talking about stuff other than work and kids and schedules. I miss knowing what's going on in their lives, what's important, what's on their minds.

There's plenty of excuses on both sides but in the end its neglect. Oh, sure, there's the occassional phone call or the chance sighting at the Wal-mart. But that's not real enough for me right now.

What do you do when something's off kilter in your life? Talk about it, whine, write in your blog? If you want to fix something, anything, it takes action.

I tracked down an old friend I haven't seen or talked to in probably a year, maybe longer. We used to have such great life conversations. We shared our dreams and fears. I can't believe I let it go so long. But I was determined and didn't stop after the first two disconnected numbers. I played detective and it paid off. The joy in her voice, the laughter was worth my effort.

I took a friend from work to lunch today. We haven't done lunch together since before Thanksgiving. We talked so much that I can't remember if the food was good or not.

Tonight I called my oldest and dearest friend. We do quick phone check in's and emails but we haven't sat down together in way too long. I told her I bought a bottle of wine with her name on it and I was available at her earliest convenience.

I hope my friends have really missed me... cause here I come. Dust off your hugs.

Bonus Day

They say you should learn something new every day.

Well, I learned two new things today.

Bent riding
http://www.bicycleman.com/recumbents/recumbent_faqs.htm

Hashing
http://harrier.net/presskit/premise.html

I think I'll take tomorrow off...

To Dine or Not To Dine

The corrosion guys from the southern end of Texas are in town for an off-site conference this week. I haven't met them before and haven't been to any of their field offices. So when I was invited to join the crew for dinner I was hesitant to say the least. I waffled back and forth on whether I would show all afternoon.

I went home and got bogged down in arguing with the DSL company and next thing I know little princess says "aren't you supposed to be gone?" Dang, I get up brush my hair and teeth and tell little princess "do your dishes, take a bath and at 7:30 call me on my cell phone." She wants to know why she's supposed to call me. "In case I'm not having fun I can use you as an excuse to leave."

"But what if you ARE having fun?"

Then I'll say "thanks for calling" and hang up.

The restaurant did a fabulous job of accommodating our party of 25 with no problems. The manager came out and assisted our waiter. We all ordered drinks and next thing I know appetizer of all kinds start appearing all over the table, guacamole, quesadillas, chips and salsa, grilled serrano peppers. I was starting to wonder if I should even order as I was filling up just trying to taste everything. Then they brought pitchers of margaritas so we didn't have to try and catch our waiter every time we needed a new drink. We all order something different and against my better judgment I order carne asada medium rare. What was I thinking? A large group like this, I'll be lucky to get hot food let alone a steak cooked to order. But they pulled it off and all the food came out at the same time and it was perfectly cooked. Then when you think it can't possibly get better, they bring out every dessert on their menu on large plates, sopapillas, 8 kinds of cheese cake, carrot cake, flan, raspberries with cream. We each took a bite or two of everything and passed the plates around.

All during the meal I had fabulous conversations with people I didn't know before I sat down and a couple with people I've known for sometime. We laughed and joked and made plans to get together in the future at the company golf tournament.

In the end I can't believe I almost let my fear of not having fun keep me from going.

The Beau's Ring

Little princess received a ring from her beau on Wednesday. She proudly showed it off as soon as I got home. He said it was a late birthday, late Christmas present. It is a lovely clear acrylic with colors streaking thru it.

When he failed to give her a birthday present her sister and her friends said dump him. After all they had been "going out" for more than 3 months and in 6th grader time this equals more than 1 year. She stuck it out but had her doubts.

Then on the last day before Christmas break when he didn't present her with a present, she gave his present of a coffee cup full of chocolates to a favorite teacher. Her family and friends almost demanded she break up with him. After all, it had been one and a half years together in 6th grade time with no gifts.

She was going to give him one day upon returning to school to give her a gift or break it off.

Some how almost 2 weeks went by and little princess seemed to have forgotten her vow. Then out of the blue, a ring.

She proudly showed it off at Church that night. It might as well have been an engagement ring the way she held her hand and everyone ooo'd and ahhh'd. They questioned her about his intentions and she blushed.

All is well in the kingdom of little princess.

Valentine's is just around the corner, we'll see what happens.

Didjano

The approximate life span of a coin is 30 years.

There used to be:
HALF CENT 1793-1857
TWO-CENT PIECE 1864-1873
SILVER THREE-CENT PIECE 1851-1873
NICKEL THREE-CENT PIECE 1865-1889
HALF DIME 1794-1873
TWENTY-CENT PIECE 1875-1878

I have grown accustom to your faces

...and now they changing them.

The US Mint is rolling out different money faster than George cut down the cherry tree.

I’ve been dealing with pretty much the same money for the better part of forty years now. Oh, occasionally they’ll bring out “a” new coin, the bi-centennial quarter. But lately it seems like there is a race to the printing press and they can’t change them up fast enough. How’s a person supposed to know what’s real and what’s fake with so much different money rolling around.

It started with the 50 state quarters and that was kinda cool but from there its just gotten out of hand. Next up, the 2006 Return to Monticello" Nickel.

According to the news:
The redesigned nickels are expected to be around for quite a while with no current plans for further changes. The next circulating coin that will undergo changes will be the Sacagawea dollar. Beginning in 2007, two-thirds of those coins produced each year will feature images of deceased presidents in the order they held office. Four past presidents will be honored each year. (multiple dollars?) Congress has also directed the Mint to bring out a redesigned penny in 2009 to commemorate the 200th anniversary of Lincoln's birth. The image of Lincoln on the coin will remain in profile although the Lincoln Memorial on the other side will be replaced with various images of Lincoln's life. (multiple pennies?)

Here are the coins in circulation:
2006 Return to Monticello Nicke
2004-2005 Westward Journey Nickel Series™
1. Louisiana Purchase/Peace Medal
2. Keelboat
3. Ocean in View
4. American Bison
1999-2008 The 50 State Quarters® Program
1. Ok, I don’t really need to list all 50 states for you, do I?
1938 - 2003 Jefferson Nickel - Schlag Monticello Reverse
2000 - Present Golden Dollar Coin
1946 - 2004 Roosevelt Dime
1959 - Present Lincoln Cent - Memorial Reverse
1964 - Present John F. Kennedy Half-Dollar
1776 - 1976 George Washington Bicentennial Coin Reverse
1932-1998 George Washington Quarter Reverse

That’s 62 different coins for 6 denominations.

I’m not even getting into the changes in the paper money lately.

What's next?

Cursive seemed pointless when I was in third grade nearly 30 years ago. Now, many educators and students are wondering why they need to teach and write cursive at all .

I never developed that beautiful looping handwriting like other girls and I abandoned it as quickly as allowed by my report card. Personally, I can't remember the last time I wrote in cursive other than signing my name. There doesn't seem to be a point to it.

So why am I upset that schools are no longer requiring children to learn that time-honored skill of looping l's, bumpy m’s, dotted i's and funny looking Q’s, J’s and G's?

School officials say the fact that cursive writing is not included as one of the items in the high stakes Texas Assessment of Academic Skills tests has also hastened cursive's exit from the classroom. Proponents for retaining this skill in school say the college bound student will also need to print or write in cursive neatly and with enough speed to complete essay tests.

Is that the only reason? How will these children learn to sign their names? Will legal signatures be replaced with X’s? Or will school’s have a tiny block of time where they only teach each child the cursive letters in their own names? What will happen when the girls grow up and marry and take on their husband’s last names. Will the new husband be responsible to teach the new letters to his new bride? Or will girls just option to keep their maiden names to avoid learning the new letters?

And fewer schools are teaching long division now since students can take calculators into the SAT and ACT tests.

But I’m not upset by that at all… long division is a total waste of time.

Hey, atleast I enjoy it.

I've noticed some stuff about me recently. I like to worry. I like to worry in advance. I'm already worrying about how to pay for next year's college tuition. I'm worrying about the lack of advanced planning for next month's youth trip to Dallas.

I call the youth leader to tell him the trip is planned for Fri, Sat, Sun, but the kids aren't off school on Fri, their off on Monday. He tells me he hasn't even thought about it. "What? We're taking 12 teens 5 hours from home for a 3 day weekend in the big city in less than 4 weeks and you haven't thought about it!"

We need:
What time are we leaving and for which days
permission slips
Food list
supply list (what we need them to bring)
trip list (who's riding with who, and yes, this is a big deal)
rooming list (this is an even bigger deal)
schedule of events (keep 'em busy or pay the price)
What time we'll leave from there.
Who will be dropped off at their home and who will have parents pick them up

I've also noticed I like to make lists. It makes me feel better about the chaos around me.

I noticed today that I like to touch stuff while walking down the hallway. I was leaving work and caught myself drumming my knuckles on each of the doors in the hallway. I wondered if anyone thought someone was standing outside the door knocking. In my office I touch stuff while walking down the hallway too. I always touch the top of the spiked plants, run my hands along the wall. If I'm alone in the elevator I always touch the screw hole with my car key.

Maybe just a touch of OCD.

Everybody Salsa

I'm just relaxing with a White Russian and some homemade salsa. Everybody should do the same.

10 roma tomatoes
1 medium onion
2-3 fresh jalapenos (none of the canned crap)
1/2 to 1 green or red pepper (depending on size)
Salt (I prefer sea salt)
1 tbls fresh garlic (about 1 lg clove)
2 tbls vinegar
2 hand fulls of cliantro (Mexican parsley)

Cut about 8 of the tomatoes and all the onion into large chunks, deseed 2 of the jalapenos for a medium salsa, leave 'em in for more heat, seed the green pepper and cut into large chunks. Put all this and the salt, garlic and vinegar into the blender and mash down so its packed. Blend on medium for 10-20 seconds until pureed.

Taste and adjust the heat. To hot--add more tomatoes. To mild--throw in that last jalapeno.

When the flavor is right add the cliantro and pulse the blender for 2-5 seconds. You want to see the cliantro pieces.

It will be kind of frothy but will settle down in minutes. Store in the fridge for up to 2 weeks. Serves one medium gathering of friends.

Now everybody Salsa.

Show and Tell

Well, the birds are fed and tucked in for the night, the fish have been feed and the lights turned down, the ferrets have been medicated, given their "medicinal" Lucky Charms and are snug in their hammocks, little princes and her cat, Bye-Bye, are down for the night, Big Princess is back at school doing God knows what, my dog, Davie, waits sleepily by the bedroom door, and I am alone to enjoy one hour til I turn into a pumpkin.

Life is back to normal.

But what of my last entry, you ask.

My pastor told the story of the Magi Sunday and he referenced the Hawaiian Bible. Could there really be such a thing? He said it called the Three Wise men something like "those smart guys that knew stuff about the sky."

I had to see for myself and its totally true. Its one of the most beautiful things I've read.

http://www.pidginbible.org/index.htm

It took little princess and I a little bit to get the pronunciation down but we loved it. We called Big Daddy into the room to hear it. She wants a hard copy she can show people and she can't wait to share it with her Sunday School class. (I couldn't wait to share it with you!)

What was the last thing your child couldn't wait to share with their Sunday School class?

Wat Da Bible Say Bout Important Stuffs?

I'll let you just enjoy this for a day or two before I explain...

Trus Jesus: Jesus say, "God wen get so plenny love an aloha fo da peopo inside da world, dat he wen send me, his one an ony Boy, so dat everybody dat trus me no get cut off from God, but get da kine life dat stay to da max foeva." (John 3:16)

I like everybody fo tell how good God our Fadda an his Boy, da Boss Jesus Christ, stay. God, his Fadda, he give us guys plenny chance. Wen Jesus Christ wen mahke, he wen come back alive again. So den, Christ wen make us live new kine life, jalike we wen born one mo time. Dass why we stay trus Christ, cuz we know fo shua he goin take care us bumbye. (Da Numba 1 Letta from Peter 1:3)

Da Fadda stay live fo real kine, an he wen send me hea. I stay live too, cuz he make me live fo real kine. Whoeva take me, same ting, dey goin live, cuz I goin make dem live fo real kine. (John 6:57)

But da angel guy say, “No scared. I come fo tell you guys Good Stuff From God dat goin make you guys an all da peopo stay good inside. Dis day inside King David's town, one boy wen born dat goin take you guys outa da bad kine stuff you stay doing. He da Christ Guy, da Spesho Guy God Wen Send. He da Boss." (Luke Tell Bout Jesus 2:10-11)

Copy Jesus: [Jesus say:] "I give you guys one new ting you gotta do: show love an aloha fo each odda. Jus like I get love an aloha fo you guys, dass how you guys gotta get love an aloha fo each odda. If all you guys get love an aloha fo each odda, den everybody goin know you my guys." (John 13:34-35)

God take care us guys: Jesus wen teach lidis: "So, pray lidis: God, you our Fadda. You stay inside da sky. We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay, An dat you good an spesho inside, An we like dem give you plenny respeck. We like you come king ova hea now. We like everybody make jalike you like, Ova hea inside da world, Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like. Give us da food we need fo every day. Let us go, an hemo our shame Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you, Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready, An we no stay huhu wit dem Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us. No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff, But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us. Cuz you our king, You get da real power, An you stay awesome foeva. Dass it!" (Matthew 6:9-13)

Tossed Salad

Big Princess leaves for college on Sunday.

I'm happy.
I'm sad.

The house just seemed to small with her home. I was constantly tripping over her, dodging her. Her room was a mess in the first 30 minutes after she got home. She leaves a lot of hair in the bathtub drain. She fought with her sister all the time. I had to indulge her taste in TV shows (I didn't watch MTV once while she was gone). She doesn't take my advice on much of anything, from what to wear to when to go to bed.

She ran a lot of errands for me and did stuff around the house that her sister isn't old enough to do yet. She worked a lot. We have much the same sense of humor and we laughed, a lot. I wasn't alone at night after little princess went to bed. I enjoyed being with her (most of the time).

I'm glad she's going back and I can't wait until she returns again.

Early Mornings and Prank Phone Calls

In some ways its harder to get up for school the 2nd day. The first day you are anticipating getting up and excited to see your friends. But the second day? Little princess chewed me out for waking her 10 min. early.

"Hey, that's why you have an alarm."
"Yes and its set for 10 minutes from now."
"Oooops."

I called Big Princess at 9:30 am and woke her up. She went to bed same time I did and yet she acts like I called her in the middle of the night. She gave me her paycheck to put against the balance she owes me but failed to sign the back.

"You said you don't have to sign the back if you are just depositing it."
"Yes, that's true IF you are putting it in your own account, so can you please swing by and sign it?"
"Well, I kinda had my whole day planned out but I'll try to get over there."
(its like 4 minutes from her job to my office).

We spent last night prank calling everyone we know.
Big Princess found a site: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/soundboards.shtml and it has different people that you can click on and they say a bunch of different phrases. Our favorite is Napoleon Dynamite and you can basically hold a whole phone conversation by clicking on the phrases.

A lot of people were fooled and held conversations with our computer and after a few minutes of Napoleon asking "So, is grandma there?" hung up on us. It took us a couple of calls to realize calling our friends from our cell phones w/caller id wasn't the best plan so we went and got the new cell phone we got for Big D (brand new number, no one had it yet) and things got smoother. One girl laughed so hard she peed herself. Success!!!!

And what did you do last night?

Let's Make A Deal or No Deal

The rules are simple. Choose a gift from under the Christmas tree to open on Christmas eve. Just one. And chose wisely. Then you must either stay with your original choice or make a "deal" with me to exchange whatever you have chosen from under the tree for what’s behind Door #1.

Once you decide to accept or decline the decision is final.

Contestants are encouraged to ask the audience for advice; however, only the contestant's answer will be considered binding and final.

Do you want what’s in the Box or what’s behind Door #1? What would be behind door #1?… An electric guitar, a brand new 10-speed bike or a Zonk (a worthless, ridiculous prize)?

I didn’t have time to go with my original plan to create a crossword puzzle each of them would have to solve just to figure out which gifts were theirs, so instead I merged two of my favorite game shows, Let’s Make a Deal and Deal or No Deal.

The princesses know they get to open one gift on Christmas eve. We started this tradition early in their lives. It stopped the bugging of “please, please, please, please, please, please let us open a gift” and took some of the pressure off getting up at the crack of dawn to open gifts. They always went to bed Christmas eve with smiles on their faces.

So little princess spent most of the day sorting packages by person so that she could see her pile more clearly. She pondered each gift. “Should I open this one?” Big Princess didn’t give it too much thought and just picked one. They had to wait until everyone was together before they could open it. Finally around 6 pm everyone was home and settled in the living room.

“Now Mom? Now?”

“Ok but let me just say... its time to play Let's Make A Deal or No Deal.”

“What?” They cried in unison. “That’s not part of the deal.”

“Contestants, you can open the gift you have carefully chosen from under the Christmas tree or… trade it for what’s behind door #1.”

“What’s behind door #1?”

“It could be a zonk.”

"What’s a zonk?”

“Ok, what’s behind door #1 could be the grand prize, the gift of all gifts or it could be something I was planning to put in your stocking or just something I was too lazy to wrap. Deal or No Deal?”

Both girls chose No Deal.

Big Princess passed up the electric guitar a day sooner for some socks and little princess opened some plastic beads instead of the brand new bike. Sure they got them the next day but I have to wonder over their sense of caution.

Winter in Texas

A yellow butterfly fluttered about,
confused by the lack of blooms,
hungry in the warm winter breeze.

T minus 12 hours and counting

I have to be back at work in approx. 12 hours.

Where did the last 10 days go? I didn't really ever sleep the day way. The princesses were a little perturbed with me because I got them up every day by 9 am and we were out of the house before noon. (They would have slept until noon everyday and not gotten around to doing anything prior to about 3 pm.) The first couple days I woke up at my usual time but as days went by I needed an alarm to get up at 9 am for Church today.

Tomorrow will probably be painful.

But I've pretty much done everything there is to do without every actually leaving town on vacation. I tried to spend time with each princess doing something we both enjoyed and then time with both of them. I have shopped until I've dropped. After all the Christmas shopping, I bought a ceiling fan, scent stories, pasta pot, socks, clothes for everyone, TV, dishwasher, front brakes, and enough groceries to feed a small country.

Little princess and I went out to a friend's horse ranch and spent an afternoon horseback riding. We were both in heaven, spending hours riding in huge open fields. She would have liked a faster horse but my friend was scared to death we'd kill ourselves. I don't know why, she's seen us ride before and we are very competent riders. We spent time shopping later in the week, played bible trivia, uno attacks, and watched lots of movies in the evenings.

Big Princess and I got massages at a spa located in the mall. It was bliss. They gave us the couples room so we were together. As usual, I over anticipate. I could have enjoyed the hour more but as the therapist moved from section to section I kept saying in my head, "well, she's done with the shoulders, she won't be doing that again... That means only 30 minutes left." I wish I could have just blocked the voice in my head and enjoyed it. Big Princess got her own shopping time and played games with us but she also worked a lot. The funniest thing that happened was when the massage was over the 2 therapists said they were leaving the room and we could get dressed (we are down to our panties with a sheet over us). They walked out and the door didn't latch and blew all the way open. We looked up and busted into laughter, arguing over who would attempt to get off the table without exposing themselves and close it.

Little princess has tomorrow off and Big Princess leaves for college next weekend. And then life will be back to normal. Whatever that is...