Don't look (I warned you)

MONTREAL - American Chelsea Davis hit her nose (that really looks like she hit her face) on the diving board during the 3-meter springboard preliminaries Friday at the World Swimming Championships. Davis was attempting an inward 2½ somersault in the tuck position when she struck the bridge of her nose on the board and scraped her head (again, the picture show her smacking half her face/head). Blood poured down her face, stunning spectators, some of whom covered their faces. (I think most people who have seen the video or pictures have had that same reaction.)

German coach Lutz Buschkow jumped into the pool (and where was her coach?) and pulled a crying Davis to the side. She was put on a floating stretcher and taken to the hospital, where her parents and boyfriend joined her. Davis received a few stitches in her swollen nose, which was not broken, and returned to her hotel Friday evening.
(What a trooper!)


The Associated Press
Updated: 10:07 p.m. ET July 22, 2005

Four hours of vacation, please

I had no idea how emotionally draining someone else's problems could be. How do the professionals do it? Maybe, because they are strangers to the affected person. Or do they become numb after a time? I really doubt its something taught in school prior to the job.

I muddled through the rest of yesterday and went home to microwave dinner for four. Then spent the evening on the sofa. The most I accomplished was painting my toenails. Ha, even that's a lie, Big Princess painted my nails. I just felt drained.

I can't believe I now know so much about this person. I'm already wondering how it will change the way I interact with her, the way I see her. I carry the burden of her past. Oh, its definitely not as heavy or as painful but I carry only a small piece of it for her. And I'm not sure it eases her load one little bit.

Have you got a minute?

My morning started with a call just as I was leaving the house. Damn, who would call me at home before 8 am? I don't generally take calls at home early in the morning. If you call me, it had better be an emergency.

I check caller id, thinking if this is my early rising boss I'm gonna be pissed. I told him I'd call him as soon as I got into the office. It's a woman from church. I can chat with this woman and I have been to her house on 2 occassions but I wouldn't stretch it and say we're friends.

I answer the phone with a pissed off "hello". She begins to babble about could she just talk to me for a little while. She tells me she really needs someone to talk to right now and she has called everyone on the church directory until I answered (she made it to the S's). I hesitantly tell her I have a few minutes.

I've got about 10 minutes and then I'm going to be late. Being late isn't a big deal at my office but I know I have to call my boss first thing this morning. So I listen, she cries and tries to tell me what's got her in a tizzy. It's an awful thing and as I told Big Princess this afternoon, "Don't ask me, we'll both just cry."

The woman asks me how can God allow things like this to happen? Thank goodness she didn't really expect me to answer. I try to offer words of comfort and absolve her of her guilt but she continues to wail and rant at God. I realize I'm gonna be late for work as its now 8:05 am. I make a decision that could ulitimately go badly.

I can't hear or see someone cry without joining them even if I don't know the reason for the tears. I sniffle as I ask her if I can come over. She seems startled, "what?"

"Can I come over?"

I'm not trained by anymeans to deal with other people's issues. Heck, I'm not qualified to deal with my own issues. I couldn't give her an answer to why God lets bad things happen to good people. How am I gonna help?

I call my boss and my office, explained I have a personal emergency. (Gotta love my job, they said "well, let us know if we can help and we'll see you when you get here.") I jumped in my car and started chain smoking, wondering if this was a good decision to run to an emotionally fragile stranger and offer (no) help. My mind raced as I tried to think of someone better equipped to deal with this... Paster-on vacation, Elder-already at work, Deacon-no idea how to reach, Sister-in-Christ who has experience with this-already at work, my mother-long distance and really no help.

I arrived and she had pulled herself together. We sat and chatted about everthing, from silly things to the issue that was crushing her soul. After four hours I asked her if she was gonna be alright and she said she thought so. She thanked me and hugged me. I gave her my cell number and told her she could call me anytime to talk.

I hope I helped her.

Subluxate This

I started feeling poorly Wed. while having lunch with friends. I had a stitch in my side. Big Princess argued that there was no such thing as a stitch in your side. It must be something people used to say.

By Wed. night I was having pain with each breath. I slept good and when I woke up the next morning I thought I was better. Until I stood up.

I muddled thru Thursday with shallow breathing. Thursday evening was very difficult. I couldn't do much of anything and I wasn't getting enough air. I went to bed and slept good. Until I got up the next morning.

I decided to call my chiroprator figuring I'd pulled a muscle or something. I go there first in most cases because I can get in immediately all the time. I have one doctor that books two months out even if you're dying.

So I get in within 2 hours and find out I've got a subluxated rib. The rib has been dislocated and is on my lung, hence, why I can't breath. So he made some adjustments and BINGO, I can breath. It still hurts but its better. I sometimes wish he believed just a little more in drugs. I could go for some pain relief. So I'm supposed to take it easy, no lifting, twisting or turning.

Dang, that's what I had planned for the weekend.

Things I'm pondering

Once man was created, God taught him the names. It is not yet clear what these names were, but every commentator has said something that leaves no doubt that God was talking about education and instruction. In any case, when the creation of man ended, God taught all the names. Man became a possessor of names. At this point the angels protested: "We are made from smokeless fire but man was made from mud. Why should he have superiority over us?" Whereby the Lord responded: "I know something you know not. Bow down to man." The angels of all ranks prostrated themselves before man. This is what humanism is all about. Do you see the extent of man's grandeur? So lofty is his position that the angels, in spite of their natural and racial superiority (light vs mud), adored Adam. How- ever, since the angels protested, the Lord, in order to test them, asked them to recite the names but they could not answer. In this test the angels were defeated and the superiority and virtue of Adam was established. Superiority depends upon knowledge of the names. Man knows things which angels do not know. This is indicative of the fact that nobility depends upon knowledge and intelligence rather than upon racial superiority.

Another issue is the woman who is believed to have been created from Adam's rib. This is the result of a wrong translation of the Arabic word 'rib' into Persian. In Arabic and Hebrew 'rib' has an additional meaning which is 'nature.' Thus, instead of "Eve was created from Adam's nature," it came to mean "Eve was created from Adam's rib."

Another surprising point in man's creation is that God calls upon the whole creation-skies, seas, plants, mountains, animals and so forth-and informs them: "I have a trust to offer you." But all of them refused to accept except man. This is indicative of the fact that man possesses another virtue; that is, his acceptance of a trust that everyone else refused. This means that man is a representative of God in the universe as well as His trustee.
The only superiority that man has over all other beings in the universe is his will. He is the only being that can act contrary to his nature, while no animal or plant is capable of doing so. It is impossible to find an animal which can fast for two days. And no plant has ever committed suicide due to grief or has done a great service. Man is the only one who rebels against his physical, spiritual, and material needs, and turns his back against goodness and virtue. Further, he is free to behave irrationally, to be bad or good, to be mudlike or Divine. The point is that possession of "will" is the greatest characteristic of man and it throws light upon the kinship between man and God.

I had a dream there were clouds in my coffee

I’m feeling better. A combination of exercise and sleep are the biggest contributors to my improved mood. That and the fact that we finally got a reprieve from the glaring white hot sun of summer. I truly believe that people who have to go thru days upon days of blistering sunshine can become as depressed as those in the northwest after weeks of gloom.

I slept in way later than I ever get to, 11 am! But I was having a vivid detailed dream that I could remember completely when I awoke. I explained it to Big Daddy and the princesses.

It started with me waking up to find the bathroom and the kitchen flooded with water. As I started to clean up I noticed my brother was sleeping on the living room sofa. I was yelling for everyone to get up and help me when my inlaws showed up at the front door.

Then I was at a friend’s house and she was throwing a birthday party for a child. It was time to go and one of little princess’ friend’s father was loading kids in my minivan. I realized that there were too many kids. I didn’t have enough seatbelts for everyone. As I tried to remove some of the kids, Big Princess starts driving and I’m hanging out the side of the van with the door open. I start yelling for her to stop but she keeps saying that she can’t stop and that there’s no place for her to pull over. Well, by the time she pulls over we’re lost. I’ve got way more kids that I have room for, there’s a woman in the front seat holding a baby in her arms and two toddlers that I don’t even know. I can’t figure out how to get back to my friend’s house and I know I’m late for something at my house with the relatives.

I get Big princess to ask the toddlers what their phone number is and they give her their dad’s work number at the local grocery store. She calls him but he won’t come get his kids. I stop at a house (I don’t know the person) to use the bathroom and decide to have Big princess call the police to handle the lost toddlers. The officer she talks to gives her a hard time and tells her to take them back to where we got them from.

I get on the phone and get his supervisor who agrees to come get the kids immediately. He also chews out the first cop, telling him, “Damn it, kids are involved. You should have gone there immediately.”

I drive for quite some time in a big city (seemed like Chicago), going around in circles, lost, narrowly avoiding accidents at every turn. Big Princess keeps assuring the mother holding the baby that I don’t usually drive like this. I keep thinking how mad Big Daddy is going to be if I’m late.

I wake up as I drop the last kid at their house.

Whew!

So Sunday, I get up and start the washer and it starts filling up the sinks, toilets and tub and starts overflowing onto the floor. Little princess says, “Hey, just like in your dream.” Then Big Daddy just starts freaking out. I’m like, “what? What?”

“The only reason my parents would come here is if I was in the hospital,” he says. I’m like what the hell are you talking about?

“My blood work, the doctor’s visit, labs… I don’t want them to open me up.”

He truly seems panicked. He has a family history of heart problems and I made him see a doctor for the first time in 15 years. He’ll get his test results this Friday. And he seems to think my dream means he’ll have to have surgery and his parents will show up from Ohio.

He's so vain, he probably thinks this song is about him.

Memo to the Boss

Happy Bastille Day!

Bastille Day is a National holiday in France. It is very much like Independence Day in the United States because it is a celebration of the beginning of a new form of government.

The Bastille was a prison in France that the kings and queens often used to lock up the people that did not agree with their decisions and on July 14, 1789, a large number of French citizens gathered together and stormed the Bastille.

Just as the people in the US celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence as the beginning of the American Revolution, so the people in France celebrate the storming of the Bastille as the beginning of the French Revolution.

And because I am French, I would like to be dismissed for the remainder of the day.

Benedict, Pope / Book Reviewer

Apparently the Pope doesn’t have enough to do so he’s taken to reviewing books in his spare time when he isn’t praying for the souls of Catholics or running the affairs of his private county in Pope Land.

Do get me wrong, I happen to like the Pope. Well, to be honest, I don’t know this Pope yet. But I really liked the last one. This new guy is considerably younger so maybe he has a lot more energy and that’s why he’s taken a part-time job.

Its been written that Pope Benedict believes the Harry Potter books subtly seduce young readers and "distort Christianity in the soul" before it can develop properly.

"It is good to enlighten people about Harry Potter, because these are subtle seductions which act unnoticed and by this deeply distort Christianity in the soul, before it can grow properly," Benedict wrote.

I was unaware that my soul needed to grow properly. I must think on this. No, wait, the Catholic church doesn’t want me thinking. The Pope will tell me what to think. Oh yeah, I remember, that’s why I left.

It’s not that I’m a Pro-Harry Potter fanatic or a Down-With-Catholics lunatic, its just the Vatican’s strange change of position since it had previously approved, telling us that Harry Potter helped children to understand the difference between good and evil.

The new Pope explains this change of position. "The ability of the reader to distinguish between good and evil is overridden by emotional manipulation and intellectual obfuscation."

Obfusca what?

Oh well, I’m sure that Catholics around the world will ignore this mandate just like they do birth control and divorce and most have probably all ready reserved their copy of the latest Potter book.

Isn’t it funny the things that get me going.

Did I mention that I like it?

Well, its been two weeks without a cigarette. Ok, except that one stale one I found under the seat in the car that I smoked in the kitchen a week ago last Saturday. Yeah, I know, I can’t believe I smoked it either.

I know smoking is bad for me and bad for those close to me. I know it makes my breath horrendous and makes my clothes stink. It’s an expensive nasty dirty habit that once I get started can’t control.

But I like it.

I hadn’t smoked in over a year but thought, Ok, I can now control when and how often I smoke now that I’m not addicted. Ha! That worked for a month. I’m just going to smoke one cigarette a day after work to unwind. Then I was only going to smoke outside since I could definitely see what a difference not smoking in the house made. Then my inlaws came and smoked like chimneys for a week straight. I told myself, what difference does it make if you smoke inside or outside now?

This must surely be how alcoholics feel. I can handle it. I’ll just have one.

So it came to be after just three months, I was smoking just as often and just as much as before I quit a year ago. LOSER! Big Daddy didn’t say much but the girls were killing me softly with their disappointment.

So I quit, again. At least I have practice at quitting so it wasn’t as bad as last time. But that damn voice in my head that argues with me all the freaking time won’t quit whispering, “you know you want one, just go buy a pack, ask your neighbor for one, hang out at the smoking area at work, someone will give you one, just one more to get over the hump.”

And on and on the voice goes, like finger nails on a chalk board.

The end of week two was really difficult. I found myself in church, grumpy, in the back row, not hearing the sermon about lying, thinking about a cigarette buzz. Wow, I can’t believe I made it thru. I really thought I’d stop at one of the four different places I pass on the way home that sells cigarettes. But I didn’t. I went home and grumped about anything that caught my fancy. That kinda made me feel better.

So I’m driving to work and parking a piece of nicotine gum in my check, feeling pretty good. I park and start to gather my stuff together, lunch, crochet bag, daytimer, hey, what’s this? A pack of cigarettes in the cubby hole of the dash. Surely its empty and just needs to be thrown away.

Crap, six stale cigarettes.

Love and Hate

I've noticed for several months now that the princesses are not getting along. I'm used to them fighting, arguing, and touching each other's stuff. But they've seemed to kick it up a notch this Summer. I don't think they have enjoyed one minute of each others company since school was over. The constant bickering, fighting, yelling, tattling has worn me and Big Daddy down to just yelling back at them words like "shut up", "get away from her" and "go to your room". The later not always a good choice since they share a room.

I keep telling them that they are going to miss each other when Big Princess leaves (now down to 3 weeks til departure). "Hell.. I mean, heck no, I'm not gonna miss her," Big Princess tells us. Little princess is already planning on redecorating the room that will soon be hers alone. She has 50 paint chips from Home Depot and has asked if we can dismantle Big Princess' bed or at least move it to the garage.

I asked someone at church who has grown children if this is normal. The closer Big Princess gets to leaving, the worse the fighting. She said that they are pushing each other away in preparation of separation so that they won't miss each other as much.

I think Big Princess and I are doing the same thing on a different level. It seems that she is annoying me in new ways every day. And she seems especially exasperated with me lately.

Big Daddy doesn't seem to be a part of this emotional tug-of-war equation. I think he's gearing up for the big move. I wonder if he'll cry when we leave her at college?

Where does time go?

I can't believe I haven't written in more than two weeks. Where does time go?

Work is busy. The worst of it is over for now and I'll just spend a couple weeks playing catch up. I quit smoking (again) now that life is settling down.

I've taken a mini vacation with my husband and we shut out the world for four days straight. I didn't even go to church that Sunday.

But mostly I've been depressed. Don't know why. But it seems to suck all my energy just to put on my happy face and pretend. The smiles are getting harder to wear. I have to try extra hard to find some daily joy. I saw a rainbow yesterday. It seemed to help. I'm starting to just go thru the motions instead of the emotions. I know this will pass but when? I get more depressed thinking about the time I'm losing to being depressed and waiting for it to pass.

I keep trying to pinpoint the cause. Is it Big Princess leaving? Is it financial, as we try to payoff the IRS, figure out how to pay for college, and keeping the bills up so we don't have to go to debtors prision? Could it be the blinding white hot heat of summer? Could it be the weight I've put back on or the fact I'm starting to age like last week's produce?

It almost feels like a loss of faith. Then again, I haven't prayed much recently. Could that be part of the problem? One way to find out...