I wanted to be Catwoman

Your results:You are Superman

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/superhero/

The more I learn, the less I know

I read that Southern Baptists are banning missionaries that have a private prayer language. “What the hell is private prayer language?” I’ve never heard of it. So I did what most everyone does these days, I googled it.

The issue of a private prayer language, generally considered a form of glossolalia or speaking in tongues, came to a head in November when IMB trustees adopted a policy banning the future appointment of missionaries who practice a private prayer language. IMB policy already excludes people who speak in tongues in public worship from serving as missionaries.

Ok, private prayer language is speaking in tongues. I didn’t know it had a proper term of glossolalia but I’ve at least heard of speaking in tongues. I’ve never given it much thought. I don’t know anyone that speaks in tongues. I’ve always thought it up there with dancing with snakes. But in keeping with my world and religious views, If it doesn’t hurt you or yours, let it be. What does it matter to me if someone down the street or across the world speaks in tongues?

But if the Southern Baptists are in an uproar about it, maybe I should educate myself a little better so that if it comes up in polite society I can follow along. I went back to my trusty google.

What is prayer in tongues? It is speaking in a language that you have never consciously learned, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. It happens through your spirit, therefore your mind is not involved, leaving you to do other things at the same time as praying in tongues. (like what? The dishes?)

The languages that the Holy Spirit inspires us to pray, worship and speak in, are not "made-up" -- do not try to speak in tongues on your own. It is not done with the mind. Some people who haven't been baptized into the Holy Spirit, and do not speak in tongues themselves, might tell an unsuspecting believer, "Just repeat after me: blah, blah, blah, and you will be speaking in tongues." No, that's not how it works!

Well good, at least someone is telling people not to just make it up.

I can see the Southern Baptists not wanting their missionaries to speak in tongues. Religion is confusing enough in the beginning without throwing in glossolalia. (note to self: check on pronunciation so you don’t sound retarded when you try to throw this term around.) But I don’t understand how it affects anyone if you chose to have a private prayer language. I mean, its between you and God how you pray in private…unless you’re Southern Baptist*.

*This last item might not be true as I have not studied other religions to see if they like to poke their noses in other people’s private stuff.

Milkshakes straight from the cow

I just found this picture of little princess and pastor's middle daughter at the rodeo a couple weeks ago enjoying a milkshake so fresh you could still hear the mooing.

On the road again

Barely back and I'm washing clothes and repacking my bags. This time I'm off to Houston for a couple days. I make a lot of day trips for work but this is my first overnighter, alone.

Am I the only adult person that still packs an extra pair of underwear? Just in case.

I don't mind being alone in my house. Actually, I crave time alone in my house. But I don't really like being alone in a strange place. What will I do to amuse myself all evening? Dinner, Survivor, but then what? Do I wander the city alone, go to sleep, read the bible from the drawer, call my friends, jump on the bed?

I even think it will be weird to be in a strange corporate office for two days. My routine will be thrown off; in at 8 am, cup of oatmeal at my desk, smoke at 10 am, pee, back to the office, lunch, 3 pm smoke, check the mailroom, visit with friends on the way back, pee before I leave at 5 pm.

In Houston I won't have my own space, won't have to answer 60 phone calls, can't check my email all day, don't know when lunch is, can't leave until someone tells me to. And they flippin start the day at 7 am!

No worries, I'll take my squishy pillow and my own blankie and I'll be Ok in the big city.

If not, at least I'll have extra panties...

How much would you pay for LOVE water?

H2Om Water (merging of H2O amd the word "Om") is bottled water infused with the healing energies of music and the spoken word.

According to the company that makes it...
Water exposed to loving words and music showed brilliant, and complex crystallized patterns under the microscope at near freezing temperatures. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts and words, formed incomplete, asymmetrical patterns.

Here's how the water gets infused with words and music...First, the label contains words and pictures designed to energize the water with good vibrations.Second, after the bottling process, they play sounds and music designed to do more of the same.

Flavors now available: LOVE, PERFECT HEALTH
Coming soon: WILL POWER, PROSPERITY and GRATITUDE

I'm more concerned about his Pink Cadillac

Dallas Democrat, Tom Malin, is seeking election to the Texas House of Representatives and acknowledged that he once worked as a prostitute. Now a salesman and actor, he said he no longer works as a prostitute.

Malin has also worked as a Mary Kay salesman and performed in Dallas-area theater productions. Tom was recognized as one of the top recruiters and sellers with Mary Kay and one of only 3 men to ever earn the use of the highly coveted Pink Cadillac. As an actor, Tom appeared in Television, Film, and Stage Productions including Guiding Light; Sex and The City; The Sopranos; Spin City; Law and Order; Saturday Night Live; Passions; Frasier; Turtle Creek Chorale Guest Artist; When Pigs Fly; & Dinner at Eight.

"I don't regret my past, nor do I wish to shut the door on my past," he said. "I think anyone who has made mistakes in their lives can be a viable member of community and society." "He's been a mess, but righted himself," former Dallas County Democratic chairwoman Susan Hays said. "He's got more honesty and energy than his Democratic opponent and Dan Branch."

Malin said he's been sober for 13 years after being addicted to alcohol. He said he grew up in an abusive household and that he was abused physically, emotionally and sexually as a child. Malin said people care about where you're going, not where you've been. "I know that there are people that can benefit from my experience," he said. "This is not about winning an election; this is about empowerment. There is a higher calling and a higher message involved in this."

The whole truth and nothing but the truth

It seems little princess didn't tell mommy the whole story of why she was suspended from school on Valentine's day.

The vice principal called today to make sure I was aware of the suspension. I told her I had heard little princess' version of the story, but what does the official transcript say?

Both children were suspended for 2 class periods for swearing.

So here's how it went down:

Boy knocks books out of little princess' arms. She shoves him to the ground and calls him an asshole. He jumps up and calls her a dick as he runs away. A teacher only hears the boy swear and hauls him to the office, where he tells his side of the story. Little princess is summoned to the office where she promptly confesses to the smackdown and subsequent swearing at the boy.

My take on this:
A. Little princess forgot when no witnesses exist to deny, deny, deny.
B. The boy can't even swear properly, you don't call a girl a dick.

As punishment little princess had to write 100 times "Christian young ladies do not swear." Upon completion she asked when it was permissible swear.

"You may swear after you are married."

Who's feeling frisky?

Well I'm sick again. I don't know what's going on. I'm never this sick. It seems like I come down with something every other week. Friday night started with a sore throat and progressed into total misery by Monday. So I came home from work and spent Valentine's day on the sofa. Not exactly romantic but Big Daddy pulled a muscle in his back on Sunday night at work so he wasn't feeling frisky anyways.

But apparently little princess was feeling frisky.

She ended Valentine's Day with In-School-Suspension for 2 periods. Apparently some punk knocked her books out of her arms and then pushed her. She, being the gentle, fragile, southern belle that she is, shoved him to the ground. Apparently the boy in question believes that she stole his initials as they both go by the same two initials. He is tired of people getting them mixed up and decided to show her who's boss. All the boy had to do was ask her boyfriend who's the boss and he would have told him, "little princess man, she's the boss".

School Bound

Big Daddy is off for college tomorrow. Its Father-Daughter Day and he's making the drive. (and yes, he's bringing you dryer sheets) I think its just the cutest thing when he does something like this. Last time was a father-daughter Girl Scout dance with little princess.

Its like he gets to play prince charming.

The down side of this particular trip is that the weather is turning and before its over he could be driving on ice. I'm trying to be nice about it but in reality I can't wait til he leaves.

"Honey, don't forget to charge your cell phone for the trip. Dear, would you like to take my vehicle since its has a cd player and a heater that works? Here sweetie, I ran to the bank at lunch and got you some cash for the weekend. Oh, and what time are you leaving again?"

I'm never alone in my own house and I'm totally looking forward to a day of nothing. I plan to rent movies and stay snuggled up on the sofa all day. Or maybe I'll do something totally exciting and get my hair cut...

Its nach yo diet

I think Taco Cabana is trying to put me on a diet. I got the fajita nachos at lunch for $5.99 and basically got a sytrofoam container with just chips. Fully 3/4's of the dish was just chips and in one little corner some burned meat and dried up cheese.

Boy was I cheesed off.

I called the 800 customer service line to wait on hold for 20 minutes. I wanted to ask what the customer service line's complaint phone number was. They took my info and apologized and I bet I never hear from them again. Well that isn't the only store in town but it is the only one I won't be frequenting.

And I was dying for some good nachos but that just ruined it for me.

Real or Make-Believe?

I’ve been told I’m entitled to a large refund of the Federal Excise Tax. Basically 3% of my phone bills, both my land line and all my mobiles for the last 3 years. That could be a chunk of change.

I’ve been looking around, trying to figure if this is true or is my leg being pulled. (Once my brother was convinced that income tax was non-manditory.)

Here’s AT&T’s explanation of the charge on my bill:
The Federal Excise Tax is a U.S. federal tax which applies only to U.S. 800 surcharges you incurred. If you do not dial into the service using a U.S. 800 number, you will not incur U.S. 800 surcharges, and therefore will not incur the U.S. Federal Excise Tax, either.

USA TODAY says it's absurd. According to seven federal courts, it's also illegal. It was imposed in 1898 to help pay for the Spanish-American War. The war was over in six months, but the tax stayed.

The source of the potential rebate is the 3% Federal Excise Tax (FET) which is assessed on telecom toll charges. But this tax applies ONLY to calls whose prices vary by time and distance. Today however, hardly any interstate calls at all fall into this category. As a result the door is open for companies that qualify to file claims for overpayment and apply for refunds.

http://www.telassess.net/nsltr014.html
http://www.mywireless.org/
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/telecom/2005-06-30-taxes-usat_x.htm

So I’ve done some research and I’m still not sure I’ll see a dime. The IRS paperwork looks like it would take some doing (like 80 hrs worth). I don’t know if I want to put a bunch of time into something that could set off a red flag with the IRS, alerting them that I may be a crackpot worthy of auditing.

Slip your hand in mine

I didn’t turn my head and look at her
when she slipped her hand in mine.

I felt its weight and smoothness
As she slipped her hand in mine.

I open my hand and stretched out my fingers
To judge the size of her hand in mine.

I marveled at the length reaching
Almost to the tips of my hand in hers.

I turned and smiled at her and she smiled back
As I wrapped my hand around hers.

I pondered where her little girl hands went
As I held her little woman hands in mine.

I hoped at that very moment in time
That she would forever slip her hand in mine.

Yeeee Hawwww

Tomorrow is opening day at the rodeo so I'll wear myself out with a 12 hr day on my feet with children. But its only once a year for 2 weeks and 3 weekends. We'll be there atleast 3 days for various events including but not limited to Kid Rock in concert. Little princess has been selected (one of 12 kids form the county) to calf scramble. She will attempt to be the first to halter and drag a calf across the finish line.

So we are having Taco Bell for dinner tonight because eating at the rodeo does take some preparation. Gotta get my gut ready for the feast of "bad for you" food of Rodeo:

funnel cake (maybe called elephant ears in your parts)
fried snickers bars (really shouldn't miss this it you get the chance)
smoked turkey legs (nobody does it like rodeo, they are $8 but the size of your head)
cotton candy (surely there aren't calories in air, right?)
candy/carmel apples (depending on your dental capabilities)
chalupas (messy but totally worth it, bring extra shirt)
fried onions (blooming onions just like you get at the restaurant)
homemade ice cream (fresh outta da cow)

And that's just the stuff we'll pay to eat.

Then you have all the freebie food. Samples of:
salsa
chips
cowboy beans
stew
honey
jams
jerky (of all varieties)

There are lots more in both categories but my belly's starting to hurt.

Win, Lose, or Draw

I’ve been busy working on my “Self Job Performance Review” this week.

My current company hasn’t done this before so it’s a little scary trying to figure out what they want here. We are supposed to complete page one with our proudest accomplishments and where we would like to be in 5 years and give this to our supervisors prior to our actual “Review”. Then we are supposed to complete page 2 our review of our supervisor and sent that to his boss. Page three involves completing our review of ourselves and bringing that to the actual meeting.

I take this process seriously in that whether I am promoted or given a raise depends upon this process but at the same time I can see that its not the truth about anything. I really have issues with the whole performance appraisal process.

1. First the company substitutes a parent in the form of a "boss" and this person is responsible for molding your behavior on the job, encouraging/coercing you to reach your goals, then standing in judgment of how well you have done so. And if you want to know why this doesn't work, just ask any parent of a teenager.

2. Then the “boss” wants to talk about all the ways you as a youngster is falling down in his or her performance as a dutiful kid.

3. Ask yourself this: Can you ever be absolutely, 100 percent objective when judging other human beings? Sure, you can "judge" how tall they are (with the help of a tape measure), or determine how many words off a list they can spell correctly (with the help of a dictionary). But is it possible to objectively evaluate the point-by-point performance of a subordinate who may carry out a set of enormously complex and ever changing tasks, some (or many) of which you may have only partial knowledge of yourself? What if you, don't actually, er, like this person as a person? Maybe they laugh too much or too little, are self-absorbed or have a stupid hairstyle?

So I’m doing the best I can. I bought a couple of books to help me write in the language of performance appraisals. But do I think highly enough of myself or do I think not enough of my contribution to this fine company. Its almost a game and I’m strategizing how to win.